Chapter 4: The Great Holy Roman War
Austria: AZTEC! I HATE TO SAY IT BUT HELP ME! HELP ME!
Aztec: Let me think...
Aztec: Listen Austria... I am on a mission to conquer all... And you? You’re in the way... So I’d rather have Ulm kill you than me having to kill you myself...
Austria: Aztec... Why? I begged and I pleaded...
Austria: FRANKFURT! HELP ME!
Ulm: ULM ATTACKED FROM BEHIND! WURZBURG! TACKLE FRANKFURT!
Würzburg: Uggghhh.... Fine...
Aztec: Despite not knowing how to speak proper English... Ulm is pretty smart... He knows how to get allies and use them to help him in his time of need... He may actually be an unexpected threat...
Nassau: I side with Austria! I hate you Ulm and Würzburg! I hope you die!
Aztec: Interesting... Ottomans, you seeing this?
Ottoman Empire: Yes, I do! The Catholic world is going to complete hell.
Aztec: I don’t think we should get involved. I wish to watch this play out.
Ottoman Empire: Same.
Austria: Hesse! I couldnt get to the Aztecs! We are a threat to them!
Hesse: Crap! Well... Good luck!
Austria: Tell me why you haven’t gotten involved?!
Hesse: I am afraid... If I declare war I may get obliterated...
Austria: Here you are about to become the Holy Roman Emperor, and you are scared?!
Hesse: I don’t want to lose the crown like Bohemia did.
Austria: *Sigh* This is getting out of hand...
*Austria is fighting his hardest against Ulm and Würzburg.*
Würzburg: Any last words you two?
Frankfurt: I fought my hardest... Goodbye...
Nassau: (Censored) YOU!
*Würzburg kills both.*
Austria: The allies that joined have died in honor and I respect all of you... Except Nassau, he was a jerk, but I will keep fighting...
Ulm: HEHEHE! ULM STRONG AIN’T HE?
Austria: Yes Ulm... You are... You have outsmarted me... I never expected a bumbling baffoon to secretly be so smart and tactical... But I refuse to give up...
*Austria continues to fight...*
Ulm: THIS TAKE TOO LONG! HMMM... OH, I KNOW! AZTEC!
Ulm: WANT SLICE OF AUSTRIA?!
Aztec: Nah, but I do want him dead and I have too much money. So here. *Gives 300000 Gold.*
Austria: Aztec why...?
Aztec: Like I said... YOU’RE IN THE WAY...
Würzburg: Aztec gave you HOW MUCH?
Ulm: THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND!
Würzburg: You know this is because Aztec wants Austria dead and doesn’t really care about you right?
Ulm: OH I KNOW... HEHEHEHE!
Würzburg: Ulm... You scare me...
Ulm: I KNOW!
*Austria continues to fight. Mostly because Ulm hasn’t got his new freshly hired troops to the front yet.*
Austria: I guess this is it... The end... The 300000 was probably used to hire a fresh batch of troops... They should be here...
Würzburg: Can I use you to kill Austria, Bohemia?
Bohemia: Sure! Your miltary is welcome if it wants to kill an enemy of mine.
Austria: It gets worse...
*Austria begins pushing back to the Ulm border.*
Austria: Huh... It is quiet...
*Ulm comes to the border, much bigger.*
Austria: OH (CENSORED.)!
Ulm: ULM SMASH!
Austria: OH GOD! THAT IS ALOT OF MILITARY!
*Austria gets ran over.*
Austria: NOT VIENNA!
*Austria gets in front of Vienna and tries to hold Ulm back.*
Ulm: TO VICTORY! THANKS ARMORIES! NOW AUSTRIA NEED TO BE DEAD!
Austria: PROTECTING VIENNA IS MY OBJECTIVE! I won’t let you get to it...
*Ulm and Würzburg takes Vienna.*
Austria: NO! NOT YET!
*Austria continues fighting...*
*Austria has one region left.*
Austria: IF WE ARE GONNA LOSE! WE ARE GONNA LOSE FIGHTING TILL OUR LAST BREATH!
Ulm: PATHETIC IDIOTIC WHELP! I WON! GIVE UP
*Battle of Nitra occurs. Austria is kicked down to the Balkans, in a piece of land seperate from the rest of Austria.*
Ulm: AZTEC, YOU HAS THAT!
Aztec: Um... Sure...
*Aztec forces the region in the Balkans to surrender.*
Austria: Not yet...
*Austria has a piece of land up in Prussia.*
Würzburg: Looks like Prussia is up to me. I have land up there already.
Austria: Würzburg is gonna come at me... Better prepare...
Aztec: Hey Ulm. How about some military access through me?
Ulm: HECK YEAH! THANK!
Aztec: No prob.
Ottoman Empire: This is very interesting... I have never seen such a brutal war before...
Aztec: I have... The war of Great Viet, Mongolia, and Korea vs Ming... Then I attacked Ming after they lost.
Ottoman Empire: Oh...
Austria: This is my last territory... I can’t lose it... Otherwise it IS over this time.
Ulm: WE FORGOT PRUSSIAN TERRITORY EXIST! CLEVER GIRL!
Austria: WHAT?! HO- AZTEC TERRITORY STRETCHES TO HERE?! OH GOD...
Ulm: GOODBYE! HAVE NICE DEATH!
Austria: This is it... My death...
Würzburg: Good thing you arrived. I was losing awfully.
*Austria finally loses.
Austria: This is it huh?
Ulm: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN!
Austria: What? You ain’t gonna kill me?
Ulm: Nah... I want to watch you suffer for years to come. I am just gonna take some land from you...
Aztec: That was interesting to say the least...
Ulm: ULM POWERFUL! ULM STRONG! ULM SMASH!
*Everyone in Europe shivers at the huge victory Ulm got. Except Aztecs and Ottomans.*